Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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