Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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