I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
