last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
