There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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