I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
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