I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
