no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
