if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
