so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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