I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
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If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
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I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century