Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
