awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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