So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover