You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
