actually, I'm a sock model
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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