Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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