like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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