Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
