Banned from zoo.
Again?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
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