i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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