I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
The beer is more important than you right now.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
