he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
