her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
So apparently I’m into choking now
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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