We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
