He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
