it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
