considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
