We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
