1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
i out mim tonsoeep
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
