You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
how does that bad decision feel?
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