He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
