If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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