Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
