On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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