I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
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He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
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Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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