He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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