I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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