It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
