once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
