I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
