you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize