So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
