I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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