this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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