I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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