You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
