You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
