The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize