No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
