It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
