Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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