She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
well, you know. whores of a feather.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
