Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
