he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
