You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
