Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
did i just pee glitter
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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