Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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