if i can run in heels then i can drive
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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