There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
