He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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