I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
