I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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