Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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