how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
