Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
